The picture of the world that I have gleened...
The Military Industrial Complex has wrapped itself around Society.
Experiments done on unwitting people has lengthy history. Look and you will see.
Yet we vainly believe that the government poses no danger to public health. We trust science to do the right thing.
Our.entire biochemical experience is engineered in a lab.
They can alter brain wave patterns at a distance, create enhanced warriors, deeper love and more torrential hate. They can trick your brain into accepting the reality that they design, and employ active control of peeople.
When someone breaks free of their design in the mind, they will still not be free in their body. So Big Brother always wins. There's levels of control. Be happy you are at this level, where they allow you to be free ranged. Enjoy it while it lasts. There isn't much time left.
They don't make movies to fake reality, they make fiction to make reality seem unreal. Now that you're all ignoring the world around you, you won't notice all the things that are changing around you.
Stay locked in your prysm of fate, slowly feeding another with your energy.
To be free...to be free would be a great change. To wake up from the dream and truly be..what would you be, now that you are trained to be a slave?
Great people of yesterday, hear my call. It's time to bring the remnant to the field of play. Enter course, and do not stray.
There is.nothing left to do, but die on our feet, saving knees for our enemy.
Beware the tricks of the tyrants.
The heart wanders
to a secret place
away from watchful eyes
and claiming hands
A sweet confession
of undying love
a rising passion
of eternal pleasure
A lifetime of longing
leading to a path
having been walked before
by unknowing lovers
A familiar feeling of past
both heart and soul
as new love is reborn
our moment has arrived
the one we have waited a lifetime for
fate working its magic
Last night, Katlyn and I went to the city to get some Italian food. I cannot even remember the last time I went to an upscale restaurant. Usually I would prefer Japanese food, especially sushi, but Katlyn seems to be a big fan of Italian. I could tell how much she loved Italian food by the way she could pronounce everything on the menu.
Today after class, I tried to figure out why people believe in their religions so much. If someone came forward today and said, “God has been speaking to me every night for the past two years. I have written down all He has told me. The book is called the Modern Testament,” he would probably be labeled as a nut case. However, that basically is what a prophet is.
Today was another great day with Katlyn. During the entire psych class we passed notes to each other. It reminded me of when I was young, like the children in elementary school and the way they pass their little love letters. It was hard to concentrate in class because every time we passed a note, our hands would touch momentarily and she’d look at me and smile. I can’t help but to smile back. Her eyes are so beautiful and her smile is stunning. She really blows me away. I still have no clue what the lecture was about, but it is still my best class for the simple reason that she is there with me.
So my classes started yesterday, and at first it looked like it was going to be another shitty semester. Out of the three classes, not even one of them seemed to spark the slightest interest in me. It’s kind of funny because I am taking a class on religion, which right now seems to be one of my main interests. The professor looked like a minister or something and spent the entire class talking about what it means to be spiritual. I couldn’t tell if he was teaching or preaching. I was so tempted to just start arguing and countering his beliefs. Either way, I’m going to love arguing with him every week. He has no idea what he is in for.
I got into another fight with my father today. He saw that I was reading his bible and got excited. I guess he thought I was reading for some sort of spiritual purpose. In a way he was correct, but it wasn’t the spiritual sense he was hoping for. I started asking him some questions about the thoughts and questions I had about his religion. I could immediately sense the tension just by looking at his eyes. It is impossible to speak to the man. Especially about these matters.
My father once told me, “Have faith in your own religion.” Is it really my religion? How did I choose it? Do I really have a choice? How do we know which religion is right? How does God make his decision about who goes to heaven and hell?
Today I hung out with John and once again I brought up the religion thing. I believe I came up with one of my best arguments yet. My argument to him was pretty much the questions I asked above. I asked John, "what if I was born Muslim or Jewish? What if it was all I knew from my birth? What if my parents raised me to follow the strict rules of a religion?" I know that in many religions, in order to be accepted by its God or Gods, you must be a follower, a believer and obey certain laws. You must follow the writings in some ancient texts, most of which have been rewritten or revised countless times. How do we know which one is right? How do we know any of them are right?
Today I went into my parents room to take my fathers bible. I wanted to get some examples of three things I had written yesterday. As soon as I opened the bible, I remembered the flood and Noah’s Ark. God actually used a flood to destroy all the evil on Earth at the time. He believed the world had become too corrupt and thought by destroying the world with floods, the world could begin again. That is a prime example of people personifying God.
A free soul
wondering in the skies
in and out of your imagination
like a dream that you cannot touch
gently teasing your curiosity
so try to catch me
if you can!
So it seems like everything in the house is finally starting to cool down. Yesterday, my father actually spoke to me a little bit. He asked me if I registered for my fall courses yet. So it kind of broke the ice between us. I am just happy that he actually said something to me.
Today I hung out at Johns’ house. We had a deep conversation about my father and his obsession with religion. I basically told him exactly why I can not deal with religion, and how bogus I truly think it is. I seriously could write a book on all the reasons why I believe it to be fake. I’ve made a promise to myself that my next hobby I will concentrate on things other than “the bitch.” After everything she put me through, I still miss and adore her.
It has been a while since I’ve had any time to write. I have been living between John and Mikes’ homes. Things got real sour between my father and I. A couple of days back, we got into the same usual fight that seems to occur everyday, him saying that I have been staying out too much and that I am losing control of my life. It is easy for him to say because he has no clue how it truly feels to be in my position. On top of everything, all he ever says to me is how important it is to have God in my heart and in my life. This is the exact kind of shit I really do not want to hear. It has gotten so repetitive that I ended up losing my nerve in front of him. This time the fight got out of hand.
This is the moment we have waited for
everything and nothing has led us here
this is the beginning of our forever
and I was willing to wait all eternity
Our hearts and souls now joined as one
there is no space for distance between us
your eyes glow as joy traces your lips
the blue skies look dull in comparison
You have earned my trust and respect
now nothing can take this away from us
through these eyes I only see perfection
because I am so completely in love with you
Be whoever you choose to be and fly with me
together we will rebuild a new world far away
where happiness flows like a stream in our hearts
and love carves its name upon our souls
You are the destiny that has paved my path
I often wondered who the angel watching over me was
you touched my fading breath and gave me new life
I awaken from a dream that is now my reality
Each night I fall asleep wondering...
How is it that you can love me
more than I love you?
I notice you sitting across the room, it is no mere coincidence that our paths have entwined once again. I find you looking my way just before you turn around and a soft smile touches my lips, one which I think you catch a glimpse of. This time I daringly steal a glance and much to my surprise I see that you are already looking straight at me and smiling in that way you always do, somehow melting my heart. The very heart that beats at your mercy. Our eyes connect, our hearts follow suit and our souls become one. It is a wonder how we survived this far. Lost in this moment, locked in each others eyes, drifting freely between heavens, rolling with the ocean and dancing on the wind. Let us make this moment our forever and live this dream. I see you leave your seat and approach me, my heartbeat intensifying with each step you take, your essence drawing ever closer and merging with mine. Time stands still. You hold out your hand and I take it without question as you lead me outside the door.
My dad is driving me up the wall. It has come to the point where I don’t even want to be home anymore. I have been spending my time out of the house with my friends. It’s actually making things worse between me and him, but at the same time it is helping me avoid a confrontation. I honestly don’t care anymore. Ever since Lisa and I separated, I really don’t care about anything. I have been spending a lot of my time doing two things: thinking or getting wasted.
I have been fighting with my parents non-stop. They are constantly on my ass. My dad keeps complaining. He says that I have been going out way too much. He acts like im a kid. Pisses me off so much. It is so embarrassing. A soon to be sophomore who is constantly bothered by his folks. No wonder I hate living in my house.
He called me again last night
his sweet voice still lingering
in the very air that my breath yearns for
I inhale him, I exhale him
each time we speak my love grows stronger
each time we touch my resistance grows weaker
tonight I shall give in over and over again
and drown into the wonder that he is
becoming completely lost to this world
the thought of him gently caressing
my mind, body and soul
we shall enter our own little paradise
where only love is allowed entry
everything else can wait at the door
when I reach out and touch him
he is real, I have to keep reminding myself
and to think once upon a time
he was the dream I never dared to dream.
The time to celebrate
has finally arrived
come and join me
let us rejoice
there will be singing
and much dancing
let us capture this moment
and revel in it
while happiness flows
from all directions
freedom has never tasted
so sweet before.
I spent yesterday and today at my friend John’s house. It was a great time. He had a whole bunch of people over and we relaxed, went out to eat, then had a couple of drinks back at his house. It was a good way to keep my mind off things. I feel like the more I lounge around, the more horrible I feel. Keeping busy helps me to focus on other things. Plus, it feels good to be around my friends again. When I was with “the bitch” it was something that scarcely happened. That was one of the reasons why we probably fought a lot. I guess she just didn’t give me enough room to be a guy.